It

It hits my chest and sits there. Times before it took a couple days or hours at least. As I left the airport headed home I felt it. Was I really in Kenya yesterday?

My house isn't home today. Phil is out of town for work. I miss him. This was my second time to Kenya without him. It helps that he's been before, so he will understand. I had to stop myself earlier from taking it out on him. He is gracious and compassionate and will help me through it.

Reverse culture shock. We forewarn fellow travelers about it, and yet here I sit in my house, it's presence filling in each space that I don't take breath from. Heavy and dark it surrounds me. I drove thru In-N-Out for dinner. So many go without dinner tonight, let alone a place accessible for a cheap burger. Earlier I grabbed a Jamba Juice during a layover and was impatient with the slow pace of the employees. I was probably a jerk.

I have this mixed sense of entitlement and guilt. I think that is what "it" is for me. Being home now I need to sort through this. More than that, I need a project here. I will continue on in the water project in Kenya, and advocate for our partners and create awareness regarding the need. But there is need here too.

With a heavy heart and weighted soul I miss Kenya. I could easily do good there. I should do good here, too.

Here is a video from my instagram of some children at one of our wells. We only ever saw children at the wells - adults would come later when they heard we were there.

Remaining hopeful,