Heartache and Stress

Sometimes writing my heart aches for the world to see happens for growth and healing. Silence usually isn't good. My sister is silent when things aren't good. My dad was silent then, too. "I only want to call when I have something good to share," and he almost never called. 

His voice is on my phone, a message from him when he loved me. I feared hearing it play for a while after he was gone, not sure how I would take it. Of course I cried. I've cried a lot this year. 

A coworker friend, my best healthnut, shared a book on cancer. Apparently we all are capable of having it. Burgers, fries, no excersise and stress make it worse. Perfect. Check all of the above. 

Stress and fries are my greatest companions. How can this life throw so much hurt in one direction? Either everyone is experiencing this and no one talking about it, or the stupid devil won't let me alone. However it falls is not good.

Do you ever notice how when you don't feel good you shut people out? Calling in sick to work, canceling social outings, ordering out instead of cooking, sleeping in on Sunday morning. I'm doing all of that. Well, except calling in sick even though sleeping in every day sounds good. If not for bills (like ordering out) I probably would. With so much darkness in this world we need to find rays of light somewhere, somehow. I'm going to look harder. I'm convinced there is light and hope if I search it out. 

Ever hopeful,

Dalene